FINDING YOUR PURPOSE - STEPPING OUT IN FAITH

Reclaiming, striving, working, living, learning, loving, becoming...these are the words that resonate through my head in the middle of the night as I pray and wonder what my message is.  What call to action do I feel led to proclaim?

You see, it is my belief that we all have a purpose.  We all have a message to share.  We are all here as ambassadors of God.  But knowing that in my head and walking it out in my heart are two totally different things.

Given the state of our world I believe the call we have as women to love, nurture, teach and lead by

A BIBLE JOURNALING KIT - Lifestyle

When the weather is nice outside I tend to spend most of my free time outdoors but as the temps rise I find myself drawn to the air conditioned comfort of my craft studio.  I ducked in there earlier in the week intent on making a few drawstring bags to carry journaling supplies for the ladies who sit around my Tuesday morning bible study table.

I emerged a couple of hours later with six bags and a head full of ideas with what to put in them.

Since I was looking for a creative way to show them my love of bible journaling I put together a kit

Saturday morning musings on peace - let's chat

I had one of those restless nights where you find yourself wide awake at 1:00 in the morning with the weight of the world on your mind and no chance of falling back to sleep.  You know, the kind where you debate whether or not to just get up or lay in bed for 30 more minutes willing yourself to slumber.

I hate those nights.  I'm fortunate not to have them very often but when I do they are doozies.  I wish I

a fresh start

My grandson and I had a hard day yesterday.  He is in 2nd grade now and his mouth has taken a turn to the sassy side.  After a few more warnings than I should have given he ended up going to bed after his shower, an hour before his scheduled bedtime, with no dessert or his treasured half hour of television.

I could hear the sobs coming from his room as I cleaned up the dinner mess in the kitchen. I knew how upset he was over both losing out on his evening time but also in having disappointed me. Before he drifted off to sleep I went in to assure him that I loved him and that there was nothing in the world that he could ever do that would change that.  I might be disappointed in his choices or even angry when he disobeys but I would always love him.  I also reminded him that with the morning always comes the chance to begin again with a fresh start.

It occurred to me how much we as adults need to hear those same words and rest in that truth.  We too have Someone who gives us room to roam and who loves us enough to discipline us when we stray too far but who is all about fresh beginnings.  Someone who says he will never abandon us or forsake us.  Someone who promises no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

I thought maybe you might need that little reminder, too.

I tried my best to think a way of weaving this patchwork bag I made into the story but just couldn't do it, ha, ha!  Have a great weekend.

xo, Patty

faith walk friday - I surrender all

I am finding that the biggest hurdle to living the good life is learning to refocus my mind.  Learning to give up worry and fear in my "what ifs".  It means really surrendering the future and those I love to the One who controls it in the first place.

Only in ridding my mind of the things I am trying so hard to control and change can I can start to refocus on the beautiful life that is already mine.

"Keep on praying.  No matter what happens always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

I have started two lists, one with my worries and fears and another with my hopes and dreams.  I will be spending the summer finding scripture promises that will bring me peace and joy in every one of the things I've written down.

My hope is to share a little of what I find here with you on Fridays.  I will warn you ahead of time that I may miss a Friday here or there as I am easily distracted here my blog.

I've also started another list.  This one is of things I wanted to do when I retired but still haven't gotten around to.  I'll be sharing that with you next week along with what I plan on doing about it.

Based on your comments and emails, I know I'm not alone on this journey.  Sometimes walking the path to change with others makes it easier to take the first step.  Let me know if your joining me.  I'd love to hear what's keeping you from living out your dreams, too.

Have a wonderful weekend.

xo Patty

expecting perfection

Do you seek perfection?  In your home, your family, your friends, your life?  If that question were posed to me I would emphatically say, no.  I am not a perfectionist...I am a get er done kind of girl.

But life has been showing me lately that I do...seek perfection.  And when people fail to live up to my expectations I am disappointed and sad and hurt and even angry.

My devotion from this morning said this, "Remember that you live in a fallen world: an abnormal world tainted by sin.  Much frustration and failure result from your seeking perfection in this life. There is nothing perfect in this world except Me...Most people seek fulfillment in other people and earthly pleasures or achievements.  Thus they create idols, before which they bow down.  I will have no other gods before Me!  Make me the deepest desire of your heart.  Let Me fulfill your yearning for perfection."  Sarah Young - Jesus Calling

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires."  Psalm 37:4

Once again I am reminded where my focus should be.  What I need to let go of and what I need to cling to and it's not anyone or anything in this world.  It is in the only One who ever was and ever will be perfect.  Life is a lot easier that way.

xo, Patty

looking up

Thank you all for your kind words on my last post.  It was a tough couple of weeks but they have been necessary in order to move on in truth.  It is so easy to put a band aid on a situation requiring surgery but as we all know a band aid will only hold back the flow for so long.

When ever I am feeling overwhelmed my heart always seeks out God's presence in my current situation and more often than not I turn to Proverbs for the wisdom I am seeking.  (Since there are 31 proverbs there is one for every day of the month, so it always works out.  God is kind of amazing like that.)  I will usually just take the day of the month and head straight for that corresponding chapter and I am never disappointed with what I find there and with the specific message God has for me.

"We can make our own plans but the Lord determines our steps."  Proverbs 16:9

My take away given my current situation is this, I can steamroll my plans through but if it is not God's ultimate will, it ain't going to happen.  Slow down and seek God's heart in the matter.

So now it's time to step back, reassess and move forward with the right focus.  I am ready to seek and find all the joy He has in store for me.  What about you?

Happy Friday, my friends.

xo, Patty

bumps, bruises and retreating

I'm a retreater.  When life gets overwhelming, when the road gets hard, when I face those inevitable bumps in the road and I find my heart a little bruised from the wear and tear of an imperfect world, I retreat.

It doesn't matter where the hurt and disappointments come from...more often than not I am in the front of the line when they are handed out, giving my fair share with my very own set of expectations for the people in my world.

It is far easier for me to close the door and protect my heart while waiting for time to heal and I find a rug to brush things under, than it is to face life head on.  I wish I had more courage.  I wish I didn't fear what letting go might bring.  But I do...so, I retreat.

Sorry for this melancholy post but my life is real and sometimes it can get messy.  I am sitting here looking at the keys on my computer wondering if this is one I hit publish on or if I simple close the screen and call it therapy?

But then it occurs to me that your lives are complicated, too.  No matter how many pretty pictures we post, life is not and cannot be perfect because we are not.  It also occurs to me that this is why we seek out the beauty, the flowers, the happy porches and smiling kids because even hard, imperfect lives are good and rich and meaningful and full of little joys.

A friend just said to me, will all this matter in five years?  Will these giants you are facing seem as large down the road?  The honest answer is, I don't know.  Some of them may, I know many of them will not.  What I do know is that my faith tells me that I have a Savior that has my yesterdays, today's and tomorrows in the palm of his hand and He hasn't let go of me yet.  And with that knowledge I find a little more courage and a lot more hope than I could ever muster on my own.

And so I start each day seeking out the pockets of beauty everywhere and not a day goes by that I don't find it all around.  (I'm fine mom, just feeling a little bruised...no need to worry.)

xo, Patty

a time for everything

I want to be able to be very honest with you here on my blog and sometimes that is not always going to cause the best reflection on me but if I can't be real here then I might as well just stop writing.

I went to bed really early last night because I was tired for sure but also because my heart was heavy.  Did you know that you can have a heavy heart over a good thing, even something that is an answer to years of prayer?  You can.

If you have visited here for a while you probably know that my daughter and my six year old grandson lived with us from the time he was born until he was five years old.  For those of you who have had grandchildren live with you, you know that causes a special and unique bond between the grandparents and grandchild.

Yesterday after his baseball game my grandson was given the option of going home with me and his pop pop or going home with his mom.  There was a time not so very long ago that he would have (without hesitation) said he wanted to come home with us but he (without hesitation) said, "I want to go home with mommy".

His answer took me by surprise and even caused a little twinge of something inside me.  I thought about it off and on for the rest of the day.  Why was it significant?  Why did it make me sad?  What did it represent?  Shouldn't it have made me dance with joy?

After a long and sleepless night I woke up to these words in my devotional...

"Stop trying to work things out before their times have come.  Accept the limitation of living one day at a time.  When something comes to your attention, ask Me whether or not it is part of today's agenda.  If it isn't, release it into My care and go on about today's duties.  When you follow this practice, there will be a beautiful simplicity about your life; a time for everything, and everything in its time." Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

You see for so long I have been trying to work out this very situation before it's time.  I have fretted and worried about it for years writing out various scenarios in my mind on a nearly daily basis.  This morning I felt the Holy Spirit gently and reassuringly tell me, now is the time to let go.

"There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Our house is our grandson's (and all of our grandchildren) safe haven and will always be his home away from home.  But God in his infinite glory has raised up my daughter to provide him with his primary home and where ever she may move to physically, his home will always be with her.

Let the dancing for joy begin!

xo, Patty

Note...for those of you who asked the bible I faith illustrate in is an old Note Maker's Bible Wide Margin Edition and I am not sure it is still available but here is one similar.

an honest heart

Last week I made a decision to use this little blog of mine to share a bit of beauty everyday from a very ordinary life.  A life filled with happy moments and sad disappointments...

A life a lot like yours I'm sure.

It seems ever since I made that conscious choice, my life has turned decidedly more trying.  My patience has been tested and failed, my heart has been cold and my actions quite selfish.  I have been tired and acted as if the world (or at least those close to me) have been a bit of a burden.  I have felt empty.  It has been harder to find beauty...

And then this morning God gave me this...

"How precious is your unfailing love, O God.  All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.  You feed them from the abundance of your own house letting them drink from your rivers of delight.  For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.  Pour out your unfailing love on those who love you; give justice to those with honest hearts. "  Psalm 36: 7-10

The source of beauty is not found in my everyday circumstances and brokenness, it is found in God's unfailing love for me and for you.  He longs to delight me, to feed me beauty, if I would but fix my eyes on Him and his creation instead of my own limited, fractured perspective.  If I will live with an honest heart, he will pour out His love on me.

Give me an honest heart O Lord, so that I might see the delights you have waiting for me.

xo, Patty

giving up facebook and fashion Wednesday

It's hard to believe this is Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent.  2015 seems to be happening at break neck speed.  That's a gruesome term...anyone know the origin?  I haven't always been one to give up or sacrifice anything during the Lent season but have found value in doing so the last couple of years so I am choosing it again this year.  I have decided to give up the time I spend on facebook.  It's a decision I have been toying with for a while anyway...but that's another story for another time.  Do you practice giving up something for Lent?  What is it for you this year?

What I will not be giving up is fashion Wednesday.  It has proven to be such a positive thing in my life.  Encouraging me to look presentable and to value time spent on myself.

So let's get on with it.

(via pinterest)

Last week I showed you a few looks that I wanted to try for more mature women from my "My Style" board on pinterest.  This week I decided to start out with this inspiration photo of mustard yellow cardigan, lace top and jeans.

Isn't this a great lace top?  It has been hanging in my closet for two years and never been worn.  I bought it out of a Northstyle catalog because it is so pretty but never knew how to style it.  It is sleeveless and I still am not comfortable showing my 50 + year old arms.

Thank you pinterest.  Why didn't I think of throwing a lightweight cardigan over it?

It reached into the high 70's yesterday and the outfit was still very comfortable.  The blue statement necklace is from Kohls and I think I only paid around $10.00 for it on sale.  I've already worn it a couple of times so it was definitely a good purchase.  I added simple silver hoop earrings and some bangle bracelets and my black cowboy booties.  Such a great, polished look and super comfortable, too.

I'm already wondering when I can wear it again.

Happy Wednesday my friends.

xo, Patty

quick note...If you receive my blog notifications through facebook, you will still get them as they are automatically linked and I didn't delete my account.

love is kind...

Doesn't it seem that words can go in and out of style?  Times when their importance is emphasized and others when they just fall out of favor or at the very least, off the radar screen?

Words like awesome.  For a while there everything was awesome.  From the flavor of the latest coffee drink to the glory of a majestic sunset, if it was good, it was awesome (and if you're from California, it was awesome dude). 

I kind of feel that way about kindness.  There was a time when we stressed kindness, to our kids, to our spouses and just to the world in general.  We were taught that being kind was a virtue, that if you loved someone you were kind to them.  Is it just me being cynical or is that not true so much anymore?

Kindness has gone from a virtue to a weakness.  From aspiration to avoidance.  In this me centered, paranoid culture we live in I think people are afraid to be kind, to trust and to be nice. 

Somewhere along the line we have pushed the idea that "love is kind" into the corner.  Now, love is grand and expensive and over the top. 

Every day kindness has been replaced by lavish date nights or production style birthday parties.  Somehow our husbands just being good, kind, hardworking men, isn't enough.  They need to wine us and dine us and jet us off to far away locations and provide us with the latest gadgets, trinkets and decor...that's love.

And men look at all the stimulus available to them at every level and expect women to attain that level of perfection in their looks and their work and their homes.

It sounds grand on the surface but in reality, it's exhausting and unsustainable.

Marriage (and life in general) is hard enough without adding to it the expectation of living the life of a Hollywood couple.  Real life relationships take work and forgiveness and acceptance of others short comings and in return theirs of ours.  In reality, most of us will never board a private plane, travel with an entourage or even have a stamp in our passports. 

We need to make that okay again.  We need to make it enough to be kind to each other, to respect each other and to appreciate the occasional night on the town, even if that's just a trip to Sizzler.

A little kindness in love goes a long way in easing hurt feelings and overlooking insensitive comments.  A little kindness to our children shows them that being at home is the safest place to be.  A little kindness in the world can restore someone's faith in others and maybe even encourage them to be kind to someone else.

"Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Okay, I'll jump off my soapbox now.  Just don't get me started on gentleness...

xo, Patty

comparison- my unword

When the challenge went out from Edie over at life in grace to find my "unword" (whatever word you want to undo in your life) it didn't take me long to settle on this one...

Whatever word you want to {UN}do in your life
Read more at http://www.lifeingraceblog.com/#lofYpAUQ6BfGi8Xe.99

Whatever word you want to {UN}do in your life
Read more at http://www.lifeingraceblog.com/#lofYpAUQ6BfGi8Xe.99

Comparison.

Such a nasty word for us women isn't it?  I have struggled with it my entire life.  I can remember as far back as kindergarten and wishing I was someone else or that my life looked like someone else's.  I was never thin enough, pretty enough, athletic enough, popular enough, I just wasn't enough.

I grew up in an intact family and I was loved.  I know my mom will be reading this and I don't want her to think it was anything she did or didn't do.  I can't explain it and I am not sure when it even began but at some point early on I started thinking that the grass was greener in other people's yards and the comparison began. 

What I do know is that I am tired of it.  I am tired of letting that nasty word suck the life out of what I have been blessed with.  I have gotten better as I have aged but it still pops up when the universe doesn't spin according to my plans and purposes.  My thoughts will start to drift off to what I perceive other peoples lives to be.

Here's the thing with the mind, once you begin to believe a certain way or think a certain thing it is extremely difficult to reset your default button.  Even though I know that nobodies life is perfect and that we will all have times of color and times of black and white, without changing the way I think, I don't have a chance of ridding myself of comparing my life with others.

One of my memory verses this year is Romans 12:2.

"Do not copy the customs and behaviors of the world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

As long as I am focused on God's will for my life, what's happening in other peoples lives isn't important.  As long as I am living my life for an audience of One, it's just me and Him and I have know one else to compare my life to. 

I loved this challenge.  I am all about seeking out one positive word to focus on each new year but how much better served my life will be if I can give over my "unword" to the One who desires to give me a life which is good and pleasing and perfect.  How much easier it would be to live the life I was intended to live.

xo, Patty

on teaching the younger women

I wish I had a nickel for every time I changed directions on this blog...for every time I thought I had it all figured out and happily set about putting my plan into motion only to find out that my plans are not always His plans and the responsibility of working against His plans can be quite exhausting not to mention unproductive.

Never intending to, I think I have compartmentalized my blog life from my spiritual life.  I think I have attempted to keep this online space going in one direction while God's leading and calling in my life have been going another way.  I feel kind of like that old time act with the man spinning the white plates, running from one to the next, trying his best to keep them all in the air.

Then gravity and exhaustion take over and one by one the plates come crashing to the ground.

That is where I am...

So I took a little break to decide whether or not to keep this blog going or to start a new blog or to only write on my churches blog or even whether or not I even have anything to blog about.

After much prayer and thought, I came to the conclusion that I love to write, take pictures and share my life so giving up blogging altogether is not the answer.  As far as where to blog, I love the online friendships I have formed on Lemon Lane and I would miss you all if I stopped sharing here. 

So, that leaves content...what to blog about.  If you read this post, you know that God has called me to mentoring younger women and I am finding it a role I love to be in, so while my content will not change much, you may find it geared to women who my life experiences and walk of faith may benefit.  You will find more posts about my spiritual pursuit of God and his calling on my life.

"Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God.  They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.  Instead, they should teach others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and to be pure, to work in their homes, to do good and to be submissive their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."  Titus 2:2-5

If I know my regular readers, you are mostly where I am in life and could write many of these posts yourselves.  I hope that won't stop you from stopping by and leaving your wise and encouraging comments.  I would certainly miss you but if I am to give this a real go, I need to follow where my heart leads me and that is to seek His glory while I write my story and to encourage the younger women coming along to do the same.

xo, Patty

the gift of Christmas

I am getting ready to start my final day of baking before we head out to spend Christmas Day tomorrow at my mom's with my brothers and sister and their families.  I wanted to take a minute before my sink fills with measuring cups and spoons and the flour starts flying to wish all of you the very merriest Christmas. 

I pray that you feel loved and cherished by those around you and that you know and accept the unblemished love of the Savior Child who's gift to mankind was to be born willingly for the very purpose of dying for you personally. 

In this season of trying to achieve perfection there is such comfort in knowing that His love is unchanging...no matter how many times you mess up, how you might disappoint, what unkind words just slip out of your mouth or impure thoughts pop up in your head...YOU ARE LOVED!  Isn't that the best gift of all?

Merry Christmas!
xo, Patty

on being the older woman - faith walk friday

I wasn't sure I was ready to be her...the older woman.  Like physically I had a choice, right?  But even emotionally.  I wasn't sure I had the spiritual chops to offer up what the younger women are hungry for.  Truth be told I was even a little offended by the whole idea that I was now apart of the generation that laid the groundwork and not in the generation that is ready for change. 

But everywhere I went, everyone I encountered and everything that I read kept leading me to younger women.   In our study of Gideon we are learning that waiting until we feel totally equipped for our calling is not an option.  That God uses us not only in spite of but because of our weaknesses.  That when we feel the least adequate is when He is most glorified through us.

So I went to scripture to remind myself of what the older woman is supposed to look like according His word. 

"Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness.  By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.  We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior."  Titus 2:3-4 MSG

And I put myself out there and they are coming or maybe they have always been there but my eyes were just not open to see them.  They are everywhere...in my family, in my church, in social media, daughters of friends, and they are looking for older women who were not raised in this sex crazed, media driven world to show them how to be lovers of husbands and children and to show them that you can still dress cute and be virtuous and that the love of pinterest inspired homes and holidays must first start with learning to keep your home.

Am I totally ready?  Do I have it all together?  In my flesh, certainly not but the One who called me is and so like Gideon I will venture forward with the unlikely tools he has given me and I will make myself available because now more than ever, this world is in dire need of obedient (not perfect) older women.

xo, Patty

I'm joining the following links today...
Faith Filled Friday
Bible Love Notes